


You Will Never Be Alone

by Susannagwendoline



Category: Star Wars Rebels
Genre: Combat, Hurt, Love, Multi, three OC's - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-05-19 08:32:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5960896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Susannagwendoline/pseuds/Susannagwendoline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tessalyne Carson has seen her fair share of fights. A bounty hunter and Rebel, she knows that not all things go according to plan. As she battles to put her past behind her, a familiar face from it rises and together, attempt to take out the evil in the galaxy. She struggles to hide the feelings stirred up by the young boy, and hide her deadly secret: she used to be a Sith. As she and her new team battle against the growing evil of the Empire, Tessalyne must learn to control and let go. As she finds balance between the Light and the Dark, she is nearly killed in a attack. As she delves deeper into the assassin, she must now fear someone she grieved for...</p><p>Ezra Bridger never expected to see his old friend again... But, he does, and he learns new things about her. How she has changed... Who she used to be does not bother him, as he can see the good in her from a mile a way. She swear to protect him, no matter the cost. Which leads to shocking  results...<br/>I do not own Star Wars Rebels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few notes on the charcters I made up...  
> Tessalyne Carson is an OC, because I was bored and her personality just came to mind from 'Jedi Rising' (prequel to this).  
> Daniel is an OC, but is only mentioned in a few chapters and referencing to Tessa's dreams.  
> Selena Carson is an older woman from her appearance in 'Jedi Rising'.  
> That is basically it. Enjoy!  
> Susanna x

A TIE screams over the ship, and I spin around in my chair, prepping myself for the next onslaught of shots. Hands flying over the controls, I manoeuvre as best I can, avoiding as many shots as I possibly can. It is tricky, but I know what I am doing. A voice crackles over the communication, and I jump a little.

" You know what you must do," Daniel cackles manically, sounding a little bit too devious for my liking. He is a good guy, makes my heart race every time he comes near me. That's a good thing, considering are dating. Daniel snorts, a TIE exploding into a white/orange mas. I roll my eyes to the ceiling of the ship. I sense Danny's presence through the Force and grin, seeing in my mind's eye that he is right above me, strong hands on the controls, eyes alert and ready. The ship shakes with a blast. I grunt, nearly falling out of my chair. I shake my head with an annoyed sound. That came from behind. Sneaky bastards.

"Elly, man the canon, we have three TIE'S incoming." I order, cracking my fingers quickly before my hands automatically find the controls again. A TIE flies directly in front of me, and my Force reflexes take over. I fire myself, before Daniel and Sarah have any time to react. It blows. I hear a chuckle over the communication and I inwardly roll my eyes, knowing the words before Sarah even breathes a word. They are so predictable. Maybe that is just because I am a Jedi? 

"I have never been so proud of you, Tessa," She says. I sigh softly. Knew she was gonna say that. "That shot was awesome!" I giggle at her. She knows exactly how to make me laugh. Repeating the same thing over and over is annoying, but I find it amusing most of the time. I lean back in my seat tiredly. Elly comes down, flicking her ginger hair from her eyes. She sits next to me with a happy grin.

"That was easy," She breathes, closing her eyes and she rests her head against the back of her chair. I chuckle dryly. Trust the youngest member of our team to think it was easy. With the Empire about, nothing is easy. It just gets harder and harder until you can't do it any more because it's virtually impossible to accomplish. That never happens with us. We're the Firefox crew. Across the galaxy, the Empire can't hide... Because to us, nothing is impossible.


	2. Never Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessalyne remembers the letter she found from Daniel, the boyfriend she loved and lost when she was thirteen.   
> She recites it in her mind as she 'talks' to the Sith she has cornered for information. What she discovers launches her into a spiral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The text in italics is going to be the letter from Daniel. The rest is just the typical story.   
> I know I haven't updated, but I get new ideas everyday, literally.   
> It makes it difficult to focus on one thing.   
> So, I hope you enjoy this very late chapter.

_Dear Tessalyne,_.

The wind whistles through the alleyway, which is darkened by the night. A man walks through it, feet heavy and I can hear the way he moves, his feet kicking up the gravel as he goes. This shall be short. Very short. I whizz across the rooftop, my boots making a tiny bang as I slip. The Sith stops. I hold my breath, focusing on my Force signature. I slow it down, pluck at its string so that he cannot sense me. I didn't know I could do that until a month or so ago. It was a shock, but gladly accepted. I learned how to use it with the help of my close friend, Ahsoka Tano. Otherwise known as Fulcrum. She kept her identity secret to this other group of rebels. I'll be meeting them soon. I can feel it. I drop down from the rooftop, using the Force to slow my descent. I land lightly, feet barely making a sound this time. Good. The Sith walks straight past my hidden figure, completely oblivious. That's even better. Makes my job so much damn easier. Let's hope he goes down without a fight. Shall we? I step out and wrap my arms around his neck. He goes to scream, a sharp intake of breath, and I slap my slim hand across his mouth. He struggles, but he seems weaker than me. He may be taller, but I am stronger. I don't do thirty push ups a day to be weaker than a Sith. No.

"Struggle and I will kill you," I hiss in his ear. He stops. What a freaking weakling. I've seen more balls on a Loth cat. I drag him to a darker corner and drop him on the floor landing a heavy kick that sends him sprawling.

_If you find this letter, it means you're clearing out my room. It means I am already gone. You know what happened to me. Don't cry... I love you. I've seen it in those forest green eyes. I have sensed it through the Force. I know you will see me die, hold me while I die. I wanted you to close your eyes. You didn't. You tried to save me. I wanted to hide you from the pain, shelter you with the Force. I wish you wouldn't have to feel all of my pain. I wish I could change what I saw. But, I sadly can't change what is written. I never told you about the vision because I was afraid. I wanted to live life with you until I couldn't. I know you only wish Vader would end it for both of us. Don't let the Dark Side taint every good memory you have had with the crew. With me._.

The Sith cowers and I roll my eyes. Ugh. Why are all Sith lords so absorbed with fear? Why is fear an emotion that leads you to the Dark Side? Why? I don't understand it. I never did. Pulling my lightsabers from my belt, I twirl the light handles around my fingers, bored. He needs to answer my questions. Fast. Before my patience wears even thinner. "Who ordered the ambush?" I snarl, leaning forward. The Sith jumps a little. I lose my temper. Snatch hold of his cloak. Lift him up. Slam him off the dirty wall. He groans. "Who?" He shakes his head. I take a deep breath, and on my exhale I let him go. Lucky bastard. He is very lucky. I had the urge to ram my lightsaber through his ribcage. Just to watch him squirm. I may not be a Sith anymore myself, but I do get some darker temptations. Ahsoka is helping me to avoid them, control myself. She knows what I am going through. My struggles. She was close friends with my mom, who fought alongside her in the Clone Wars. My mother, Selena, even left the Order with her. Not that my mother was a Jedi. She was a solider. She knew of her Force origins, her Jedi roots, but chose to stick to her guns. She passed everything she knew on to me. Then, I was taken, she was taken and it took me three years to escape. Three fucking years. I ignite my lightsabers, one blue, the other white. I near his throat. He whimpers.

_I'll be thinking of out first kiss when it comes. I could die happy. I've severed our bond. So, you know understand what that feels like. I've just lost the life I always wanted. You're going to lose the boy you'll 'ever' love. Please, when I die, move on. Find someone else. Please. I want you to be a happy rebel. The agony I feel from you matches the agony I know you'll feel, if that makes sense. I don't know what life with be like-without me. I know it will feel empty. You will feel so alone. I saved you. And I'll give my life for yours._.

Sighing, the Sith spits out the blood in his mouth, the red blob of saliva landing near my black shiny boots. Arching an eyebrow, I press my blades to this throat, just enough to burn the skin. To draw blood. But, not to kill him. No, not yet. I have no gotten my answers. The answers I need. He splutters, eyes going wider than I ever possibly imagined, revealing the bright yellow iris, speckled with gold. He claws at the handles, trying to remove them from the puckering skin, but I use the Force. Flicking a slim finger, his arms shoot down, hitting his thighs with a soft thump as the drop. He struggles, wincing when he realizes he is going to kill himself. I release one blade, and he coughs, unable to touch the wound left behind by my weapon. I clip on back onto my utility belt, the sturdy brown leather that I have all of my equipment. I have had it for a long time. It has saved my life on so many occasions. I trust this belt more than I trust people. I feel a little bit of a drop inside. That's kinda sad. 

"We can either do this the easy way or we can do it my way," I say calmly, with deadly precision. "The choice is, ultimately, yours." The Sith cowers, blood staining his black cloak, making it look wet. The smell of copper in the air is almost enough to make some sick. Not me. I'm used to watching people die. This will not be any different. This is just like everything I have seen. I may only be sixteen, but I've seen things you don't want to. Trust me on that. It would destroy your mental capacity. I don't even know why I'm still alive.

"I can't tell you anything," The Sith mutters quietly, containing his groans of pain. I sense it coming off him in waves. Maybe I should have waited, but I am not the most patient person. Any more. I used to be, but things changed. A lot changed, actually. But, enough of that. "You'll kill me." He whispers, voice wispy and full of hatred... But, there is something else in his tone. Uncertainty? I cannot tell.

"That depends on what you tell me, my dear." I say, voice full of mocking sympathy. He glares at me, his eyes sending chills down my spine. Thank God I haven't got them eyes anymore. Thank God I have my original green. It feels much better. I hated being a Sith.

_If all you do is fight for your own life, then your life is worth nothing. Remember that? From that pretty Twi'lek who helped you after you got shot in the leg. I wish I could meet her again. She was so caring. Your life is worth something. And, I'll fight for it. You fight for freedom. I know your tired body will be exhausted. Your heavy heart with be shattered. Your tattered soul with be torn. Especially now that you are doing this all on your own. Don't worry, Tessa. Things will change. I've seen glimpses of the future. You meet new people. And you love them all like you loved us._.

He looks up at me. Eyes filled with terror. Wonderful. This is so easy. I'm being sarcastic, if you hadn't notice. I just hope this Sith is not toying with my mind, my emotions. It will not end well. For both of us. I am not going to waste this chance at information. Even if Ahsoka doesn't like it. She wants me to keep myself safe. She hates the fact that I have been stalking the streets, late at night, looking for a weak opponent. Just like this Sith. What a bonus. Losing everything but me in the Darkness. If is wasn't for Ahsoka helping me, guiding me, using wisdom, I could have been left in the Dark forever. I need to thank Ahsoka one day. For everything she has done for me. Everything she will do for me. I still haven't. Ugh. I must seem like a right bitch to her. But, she knows I am grateful. I hope... 

"Starting talking," I hiss through gritted teeth. He snaps his gaze up at me. "Before I remove your head from your body." Yes, yes. I sound more evil than the Sith I have in my hold. I'm not the villain here. Things changed. Times moved on. I am ruthless, yes. Calm, yes. I am a Jedi. And an ex Sith. I am a lot of things. But, a villain is not one of them. Not at all.

"Okay, okay!" The Sith cries out, but lowers his tone when I reactivate my other blade and press it to the wound I already left behind. Whoops. Not like I care. I need to know. "What do you need to know?" Pleasure courses through my veins like my blood and I give the Sith a sweet smile. 

"Who ordered the ambush?" I say calmly, my heart starting to race, knowing this answer could make or break me. This answer could be the end of my career as a bounty hunter. Because I'll have a bigger job to do. And I'll need to do it. Alone.

_Well, at least I found you again. And you made a choice. Me or the ship. You chose both. But, you got a sweet nothing. You didn't make it to me. I betrayed you. It was right for me to face Vader on my own. I beg you for forgiveness. I forgive you. Just one more night with you, and I'd be happy. Because, I have never stopped loving you. I cry every time I think of your smile, you laugh. Can you hear me when I say that? Re read the sentence again. You are amazing. Cool. Karabast, you fight mean. Hard. And, you're classy. Sexy. I wish I knew a name from the future. I only know you'll meet new people. But, let them love you until you can learn to love yourself again. It's going to be a good time, I see it._.

My heart hammers. My hands try to tremble, but I tighten my slender fingers around the metallic handles of my blades to keep them steady. I can't let my hands shake now. I slip, he dies. That would suck. He looks at me. I deactivate the blades, unbothered by his grunt of pain. Red coats the side of his neck, the front of his cloak. He looks so uncomfortable.

"Talk," I say carefully. My voice sounds like it is going to break, so I swallow and give him a hard stare, focusing on my goal and not my emotions. They will only get in my way. He will only use them against me. That cannot be allowed to happen. I won't let it. It will ruin me. In more ways than one. He raises his eyes, and swallows, brushing the wound gently with his fingers. 

"Vader," He finally spits it out. I stop moving, goosebumps breaking out on my arms. I direct my green eyes at the Sith, who looks despaired at the fact he just betrayed his chosen path.

"What did you just say?" I ask quietly, praying to whatever God there is that I misheard. That had to be a mistake. The Sith snorts, rolling his eyes at me. What an ass. 

"Vader ordered the ambush on your fleet of rebel scum." Nope; I did not make a mistake. I heard the name correctly. I bury my emotions. Look to the Sith. He looks moody, his eyes half closed. Probably from blood loss. Oh, well. I have what I need. Even if it means Ahsoka and the fleet are in some deep shit. She needs to know. And fast. As soon as I am finished here, I'll race back to the Phoenix Squadron and tell Ahsoka. We need to move again. Vader knows where we are. He could be launching an attack right now. I wouldn't know. Why? Because I'm here. Oh, dammit.

_So, if you are reading this, I know you are being pestered by the sleepless nights. The nightmares. The wish for me to hold you again. A wish for Sarah and Elly and Zeo and Hero to come in and check on you. The wish that we were all still alive. Hell, knowing you Tess, you probably know this letter off by heart now. I know the dreams will haunt you. Day and night. I know it is sad. I know how much it hurts. I hope you find a guy who will hold you like you want. It will keep me happy for the rest of my days._.

The Sith kneels in the dirt, breathing shallowly, hands pressed to the smallish cuts on his throat. I only hope time will heal the pain Vader caused me. I smile at the Sith, who looks at me hopefully. He thinks I am going to let him live? Think again. 

"You're information has been of use to me," I say coolly as I saunter away, twirling my blades. He looks at my retreating back, eyes wide. He has no idea what I am going to do. I can't let him live; not now. He'll tell. They'll find me. My new family. That will not be happening. Not on my watch. I can't lose anymore people. I have lost too many. I stop, turning back to the Sith, my blonde ponytail slapping my shoulder as I do so. "You are of no use to me anymore," The Sith looks fearful. He tries to back away, but his knees buckle and he hits the floor, back up against the wall. I go back over, slowly, temptingly. Is he going to go without a fight? Wow... That's a first. 

"B-but... I told you everything y-you need to k-know." He stutters, voice full of the fear I have rejected. I ignite my blade. He barely sees the blue swing around before it happens.

_Tessa, you shine like the brightest star in the whole damn galaxy. So shine, little Jedi. And know that you're not alone. We may be far apart, but I know you're always in my heart. I love you. And this is my final goodbye. Love, Daniel._.

His head bounces and rolls across the grimy alley, kicking up dust when it comes to a stop. The eyes are wide, lips parted. Yep; didn't see that coming. I place my lightsaber back in its place, zipping my jacket up, whistling a tune while I walk away, leaving the head and the body, slumped at an awkward angle, the wound cauterized by the fiery blade. The moonlight casts my shadow as I do so. Despite all that I have lost, I least I didn't lose myself. I near my ship, which was set down no less than hundred feet away. I get on, turning ever so slightly to look at the dark town, the people asleep. I feel kinda guilty for whoever finds that body later. If it's a trooper... Nah, not so much. I get on, the ramp closing behind me with a soft hiss. I sigh heavily, and I feel a familiar presence on board my ship. But, not in human form. Like, a spirit. A Force ghost. I let a small smile paste itself on my lips as I walk to the cockpit, ready to leave this planet behind. 

"I'll never forget you guys," I whisper to no one in particular.


	3. Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessalyne meets the Ghost crew for the first time as she arrives back at the base, with the news of Vader. She bumps into an old friend, who she never expected to see again after she was taken away from him. At first, he doesn't beileve it is Tessalyne, but she reveals something Ahsoka never knew she had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More time on my hands means more writing.   
> My college kicked me out because I needed to take the day off to help my mother.   
> Unfair. I was going to drop out myself, but she did it for me.   
> Thanks. But, I am can do things myself.   
> The next chapter may be in Ezra's POV, so look out XD.   
> I hope you enjoy.

My ship descends and lands. I unstrap myself, leaving my visor on, in a rush. I grab my lightsabers, clipping them back to my belt. Running through the ship, I look in each and every room, stopping when I go to call for the team I had. Key word is 'had'. I sigh, tears pricking my eyes. Shoving the thoughts of my old crew away, I continue rushing to the ramp. I use the Force, flicking my fingers and it opens with a hiss. Slowly... I make a frustrated sound. I haven't got time for this right now. Ahsoka needs to know. The ramp is half open and I slide up it, leaping off. I land gently, lightsaber in hand. It isn't active, but I hadn't clipped it on in time. I straighten up, dusting my black pants off. People applaud, but my look shuts them up. They know something is up. I go over to Phoenix Six He salutes and I flick my fingers causally.

"Where is Commander Tano?" I ask politely. He points. I see her. "Thank you." He nods. I pat him arm and he smiles. I jog over, leaping over a few crates, using the Force to help me.I land gently, and Ahsoka comes over, arms wide in greeting. I nod my head, seeing people behind her. I don't focus on them. Ahsoka must sense something as she stops, dropping her arms, her face contorting into a look of concern. I pull my visor off, shaking my hair out when it gets caught. Ahsoka grins as I toss them to Rex, who catches them and chuckles, shaking his head. I salute to him and he does back, grinning.I hug Ahsoka, and she hugs back, snorting in my ear. I sense two other Force signatures and hesitate. Ahsoka feels it, and smiles, pulling away. She leads me to the group of people I saw when I needed Ahsoka. 

"Commander Carson, this is the Ghost crew," I nod to them. The man with green/blue eyes goes white. He looks like he might faint. The Twi'lek looks so familiar. Like I have met her before. I know the other girl... Sabine? I think... The Lasat and the young boy who nearly makes me choke on my next breath. He has shoulder length hair, which is dark blue and stunning electric blue eyes. His tan skin compliments them perfectly. 

"Ezra?" I ask, voice quiet. Everyone look at me, surprised that I know him. Ezra Bridger looks shocked. He narrows his eyes. I sense his fear, his irritation.

"How do you know my name?" He asks, and he gets knocked for being rude by the Twi'lek. I can't breathe any sort of response. He doesn't remember me. Well, shit. This is so surreal. So insane. Ezra and I were close friends as kids, before his parents were taken and then me afterwards. He lost everything. In a way. He looks so much older. So much different. I touch my chest, trying to see if he does remember me. 

"It's me, you dumbass," I say, rolling my eyes. "Look. You gave this to me when I was seven." I reach down the front of my shirt, grasping the string. I lift it into the light, the sun catching on the shiny piece of red glass. Ezra's mouth drops open. He remembers. I smile gently. 

"Tessalyne!" He cries, colliding with me in a hug. "You're alive!" I nod and I smell soap and gasoline on his clothes. Jesus, he's nearly taller than me now. What a shock. He used to be shorter than me by a few inches. Even Sabine looks at me. I smile at her. Ahsoka looks between Ezra and I, when he pulls away, playing with the worn glass. 

"You know each other?" She says, leaving the question in air. We both look at Ahsoka, and smile. Ezra nods, standing close by me. I remember all the things we used to do as kids. Run through the long yellow grass. Stare at the stars. Be kids. But, I guess we both grew up to soon. 

"Yes," I say to my close friend, who smiles warmly at us both. "We grew up together. then, I got taken away." I say it in a low voice, and Ahsoka smiles again, sympathetically. The Twi'lek blinks a few times. I see the sheen of tears in her eyes. I frown, walking over. She looks fine, but in her eyes, I see everything she is feeling. I recognize her... 

"I'm Commander Tessalyne Carson," I say, offering my hand. She takes it, her green skin contrasting against my white. "You are?" The Twi'lek woman, who looks to be about twenty-ish frowns, keeping hold of my hand whole she thinks. I wait patiently.

"Captain Hera Syndulla," She says proudly. I beam at her, overjoyed. It is her! the Twi'lek who helped save my life after I took a shot in the leg on a planet. She helped clean it up and waited with me until I was strong enough to leave. Daniel wrote about her in his letter. I never knew it would be her. She is confused by my surprise. My joy. Maybe she doesn't recognize me. A lot can happen to a person in three years. 

"If all you do is fight for your own life, then your life is worth nothing," I quote her own words. Hera's green eyes widen in shock, and she laughs loudly, remembering me. 

"Oh, my dear!" She calls, hugging me tightly."How much you have grown!" Ahsoka snorts, shaking her head.

"How many people do you know in this group?" She asks, a small smirk on her lips. I point to the man with a goatee and the Lasat. 

"Don't know those two, but I know Sabine from the Academy. Hera saved me on Naboo." Ahsoka nods. "I'm sure I can learn who the others are." The two smile at each other. I remember what I needed to tell them. I smile, waiting for Ahsoka to lead them and me in. 

"Darth Vader is after Ezra." The man says, and I widen my eyes. I set my jaw. 

"That leads me straight into the information I got about the ambush on our fleet." I say. They look at me. "Come on. We haven't got much time." I lead them in, Ahsoka right behind me.


	4. Showing The Strain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessalyne explains that Vader was the one who organized the attack on the fleet, but Kanan is stubbornly blind to her emotions. He only cares about keeping Ezra safe. It is up to Ahsoka to show the Ghost crew why Tessalyne is snappy with Kanan.  
> Ahsoka then wants to speak with the Ghost crew alone, which confuses the young Jedi.  
> What does she want to talk to them about? And why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed my mind about the Ezra POV thing, it might appear next. It seemed more fitting to continue in first person to show Tessa's behaviour when Kanan starts being moody about Vader and Ezra.  
> It might change, it might now, I haven't decided yet.  
> But, Ezra's POV will be added in, no doubt about that.  
> Sorry if it's a bit dialogue heavy, I tried to put as much description in as possible.  
> And, if it's short, I ran out of ideas.   
> I hope you enjoy it anyway.

"Vader was the one who ordered the attack on the fleet," I say as I lean on the table, the blue lighting from the hologram casting shadows on my face. Ahsoka looks mildly hurt, like she knows something I don't. It weird me out a little. Ahsoka never really keeps secrets unless she wants to keep me safe. Ezra looks disturbed by this, but he wouldn't have known about the attack that nearly wrecked the Rebellion. The man with the goatee, who I now know as Jedi Kanan Jarrus, shoots me a look. I meet his gaze steadily, feeling nothing. 

"That isn't the problem here," He says, sounding moody about the change of subject. Ahsoka looks at him calmly, her blue eyes revealing nothing to the pissy Jedi. I know her better than that. She probably hasn't told them anything of the attack. It was hard enough to witness. It would be ever harder to speak of. Kanan places his hands on the glass-like desk, shoulders hunched up. I feel pride. This Jedi, who never got to complete his training, is so protective over his Padawan. It is wonderful to see. Especially when that Padawan is my long lost friend. "He's after Ezra." I set my jaw, trying to hold back my angry outburst. Is Kanan blind? I know he wants to keep his friends, his family safe, but he has no idea what Ahsoka and I had to see. Had to fight. So many Rebels went down for nothing. _Nothing._ It nearly ruined what she started. But, somehow, we bounced back, and we are stronger than ever. In the Rebellion and as friends. Which is nice. I like fighting for the better. It makes me feel less guilty. Looking back to Kanan after examining a datapad I am handed by a well groomed Rebel, I sigh. Kanan still looks grouchy. This is not what I need right now. My mood is already crap. 

"I missed the part where that's my problem." I snap. Hera and the others raise their eyebrows, shocked by my irritation. I feel bad suddenly, and rest my head in my hands, exhaling my anger. Just like Ahsoka taught me. She is my reason to fight, my reason to continue my life. I don't want her pissed off at me because I can't control my temper. I look back to the others, letting them know I am sorry by my look. Hera sees something else, under it, and comes over, standing close to me, her shoulder just brushing mine. I smile gently, feeling relieved that she understands. She must remember what I told her. The reason why I was fighting. It isn't often I tell anyone, but she was trusting. Easy going. A good person, overall. And, I can still she that she is. She never really changed. Maybe she is stronger, a little sterner, but I can still see how much she cares for her team. I sense the mother mode she has going on. Even though we haven't seen each other in nearly four years, she still watches over me. Still picks up on a problem immediately. I think it is beautiful. Swallowing, Ahsoka nods to me. I nod back, showing I can continue. Ahsoka flicks data up, Mandalorian script. I peer at it, as does Sabine, her fringe sliding into her face. With a swish of her head, it is gone from her eyes. Ahsoka waits. In Sabine's eyes, I can see the sharp emotion she feels as she reads through the text. An entry on how many men and women were lost in the attack on our very first base, how many injured. How much damage had been caused. Sabine clears her throat, and Hera moves over to her, my shoulder going cold when she moves away from to help Sabine out, by just being there. Sabine mumbles her problem, loud enough for the others to hear, but not loud enough so that Ahsoka and I can. It would be rude to interrupt her sad bubble. I take a deep breath and shove the image of blood out of my head, focusing on the wall. Ahsoka flicks her eyes over and sees through my ruse. She flicks the text away, putting the datapad down and biting her lip mildly, toying with what she wants to say. 

"You see now?" She finally asks the Ghost crew. Sabine nods and Kanan shoves off the wall. 

"I'm sorry for snapping," I say in a low voice, to Kanan, who nods at me in a forgiving fashion. Everyone stand in silence, and it deafens me. Ezra just watches me, my actions, how I reacted to the thought of Ezra being hurt by Vader. I guess I reacted badly, and he is unhappy about it. He just doesn't know that I am not the girl he once knew. Not anymore. I needed to change, or else I'd die. So, I made a choice that shaped my life. That made me who I am today. It sucks. I wanted to stay the same, be the kid I used to be. My childhood got cut short by the Empire. I wish that never happened, but sadly, it did. And it ruined me. Took away my mother. My precious mother. And I still don't know if she is dead or alive. I never have. That really blows. More than anything. 

"Tessalyne," A voice says. I snap out of my thoughts, blink the tears out of my eyes swiftly before anyone can see them. I look to the direction the voice came from to see Ahsoka stood near the crew, looking calmer than before. She has her slender arms crossed loosely. 

"Yes, Commander?" I ask formally, voice sounding stronger than I feel. Ahsoka smiles softly at the politeness. I never usually use it, but I wanted to there. Why? I don't know the answer. 

"I would like to speak with the Ghost crew in private," She says, and I nod, leaving without a word. My thoughts pester me. What would she want to talk to them about? I carry on down the hall, towards my quarters, struggling to answer the question in my head, no matter how hard I think about the possibilities.


End file.
